did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
