Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am available for nakedness
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I am mentally ready for anal.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
