New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
