3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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