I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
