I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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