i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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