Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize