he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
