you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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