This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
