Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
