i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
