i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
