Where are you?
In a non slutty way
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
