I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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