i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
