is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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