Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
