Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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