His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
