i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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