You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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