A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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