well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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