so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
