he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
