I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
