Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize