People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
