ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
