Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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