I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
