I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
