Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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