Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize