Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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