He kissed a someone with a penis
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
