In the future we'll all be gay
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
