im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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