handjob tips. give me some.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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