I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the day after is always just damage control
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
