I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
its not stalking. its research.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
