dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
