There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
