She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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