I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
