dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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