I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
