I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Your penis caused this!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize