I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
