I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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