so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
