yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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