On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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