I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
