She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
