The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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