Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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